#8 Deep down, you don’t believe you’re worthy of love I’ve written about the melancholic, sanguine, choleric, and phlegmatic temperaments before. The melancholic temperament, in particular, is given to bouts of brooding and deep introspection, which can serve as a perfect breeding ground for self-pity. People with low self-esteem tend to crave the acceptance and affection of other people as a way of feeling better about themselves. The presentation of having a “tragic life story” that self-pitying people often talk a lot about creates an excellent way of collecting flocks of supporters. Some people live in the present, others live in the future, and still, others live in the past. Self-pity is closely linked to past-focused mindsets that dwell on events that happened a while ago. #5 You tend to be a past-orientated person Self-pity is one of the most effective ways of keeping yourself separate and independent from the friends, family, and people around you. Self-pity is so addictive because it gives us the momentary pleasure of being supported, cared for, and emotionally pampered. Unfortunately, this is an unhealthy way of developing emotional bonds and connections with other people. You have a melodramatic streak that stems from extremist types of thinking (e.g., black-and-white + all-or-nothing mindsets). Taking yourself too seriously and finding it difficult to laugh at your predicaments and defeats are tell-tale signs of self-pity. ~ Helen KellerĬommon signs of a person given to harboring too much self-pity include: #1 You find it hard to laugh at life and at yourself Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world. When self-pity is made into a habit, it not only stunts our self-worth, but it also creates self-destructive cycles of self-sabotage. Most of us experience self-pity throughout our lifetimes, and although it can be a self-soothing mechanism that assists us in later accepting/changing our circumstances, sometimes it can stick to us like a psychic leech. Self-pity is an exaggerated sense of pity over one’s own life, position or circumstance. 12 Essential Ways of Overcoming Self-Pity.
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